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US REGISTERED NURSE

Ok, I don’t exactly know where to begin. Hmm, after everything that has discreetly happened, here is the story. To cut it short, I have been really busy for the past few months preparing for my NCLEX-RN (National Council Licensure Examination for Registered Nurses). Aside from my family from the Philippines and those who are here with me, I also met really amazing people who has the same goal as mine and we worked it out together. September and October has been really tough, I had my priorities and daily schedule of what to do and what to study. Those two entire months I’ve been doing all the best I could and of course, prayers, prayers, and more prayers. I lifted up everything to God so I decided to go out and go Trick-or-Treating with the family instead of drowning myself with more studying few days before I take my exam.

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November 2, 2013 The big day, this is really is it. It was a really beautiful Saturday morning. Uncle drove me to my testing center in Baltimore, The Home of Superbowl Champions, also where I passed my English Proficiency Exam, so I really had a good feeling about this city. I wasn’t even nervous at all tbh I was totally relaxed. Family from the Ph even called me and we prayed together on the phone. So, I took my exam for almost six hours (NCSBN- NCLEX) and by the time my computer unexpectedly shut down on me, I wanted to cry but I didn’t cause there were other people taking their exam too and that would be embarrassing LOL The perfect term to describe me that time is “DRAINED”. I was crying so bad when I got inside the car, uncle was there and I was talking to my mom -Seriously. I just couldn’t stop crying. I just can’t. I did my best on my exam and I wasn’t really even thinking about what would the result be, all I can think of is I am tired and I can literally feel that my head is throbbing. Seriously, I didn’t like that feeling. We ate at Popeye’s, didn’t even realize I was starving til I saw the food coming- stress eating! That was a really good meal anyway LOL

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Uncle then brought me to St. Ignatius Church in Hickory, MD. It is the oldest active parish in the Archdiocese of Baltimore. It was a beautiful church and I loved it even more when uncle told me that this is one of the churches that the pope visits whenever he goes to Maryland. My family and I have this habit of making a wish whenever we go to a certain church for the first time. I always had that one same wish after I graduated college and since this is the first time I visited this church, I wished for the same thing and thanked God that it’s finally over. Felt a lot better after praying and it’s amazing how the church is so historical as well. Went home afterwards, watched “The Croods”, a perfect family movie that I love so much and by the time I went back up to my room for the first time after I took my exam, tears came out unconsciously after seeing all my books and other resources scattered all throughout my desk and sticky notes everywhere. I don’t really understand but I get so emotional by just thinking about what I experienced that day. It is nothing but close to traumatic for me, I was talking to my mom all night and slept with the thought of "I have no control of whatever the result may be. If ever I passed this exam, it’s not because of me -it’s a blessing from God.”

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November 5, 2013 Upon waking up this morning, I felt that I already have the courage to know the result of my exam -finally, after three days! Actually I can already know the result of my exam as soon as it ended that day but I was too scared to know. And the next two days, I was just as scared. Ignorance is bliss as they always say! I went to the Maryland Board of Nursing website, searched my name and saw my License Number posted, literally wiped my eyes and pinched myself just to make sure if this was real life. And it was real, it wasn’t a dream, I am wide awake and I began crying again. I prayed and thanked God first and foremost bec He made this happen. After a few minutes of putting myself together, I sent a message to my family in the Ph to go online on Skype. After five minutes of talking about random topics, I finally sent them the screenshot of my license number named “asdfghjk.jpg” At first they were wondering what am I sending and the next thing I knew I was crying again seeing them celebrating and being euphoric that lasted for around three minutes just cheering and showing all acts of being overjoyed like clapping and screaming crazy with their eyes being watery too. Seeing them like that actually made me happier than I am happy that I actually passed. We are always thanking God for everything during the entire time.

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But that was just the start of everything ‘cause they’re just the first to know. My family here is very happy as well. They know everything about my journey, what I do everyday and they’ve been with me all through out. Auntie Patricia even told me that I had that certain glow on my face when I greeted them “Good Morning!” on the day of my exam and that made her feel that I’m gonna make it. Uncle was really excited when he knew about it when he called me, he even asked me twice if it’s true! LOL My cousins were as ecstatic as I am and the entire family had countless group hugs and holding hands while jumping. Thanked them for being with me all the time, for their support and love. Feels like I am the eldest child of this family. Always so thankful of my second parents, Uncle Bert and Auntie Patricia, for everything that they have done for me, I owe them so much. Then I finally told my special friends and called granma in California to deliver the good news. Thanked her and granpa for all their support, she told me that she’s going to talk to me some other time because she is crying already - and I am too! We texted each other instead LOL It was crazy, everything feels so surreal. I am now a U.S. Registered Nurse! ♥

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By the time uncle got home, we went back to Saint Ignatius Church. From now on, my favorite church and my favorite saint. I just learned today that Saint Ignatius happens to be the patron saint of soldiers! It’s a sign. *coughs* Military Nursing *coughs*. My family and some friends (who knew that I’ll be taking the exam) and I put all our trust in God and he granted our prayers, His timing is really perfect. Looking back when I was feeling heavy and all tired when I first came to this church, now being all elated like floating while walking through the aisle with matching imaginary sparkles and celebratory music, it feels really amazing. I will never feel just as happy as I am feeling right now if I wasn’t down before and God’s blessing showed me that He can make the difference. This is the church where I got my wish granted, it’s amazing to think about how long I have been wishing for this and now it is finally granted. I just can’t put them into words- it’s just too amazing for words like I am overusing the word “amazing” in this post. I will never forget how this made me feel, all the lessons I learned while I was still on my way, everyone who supported me and stayed with me through everything, all of them, everything, thank you God. I couldn’t thank Him enough, but I have a lifetime to prove it. I will be the best nurse that I could possibly be while touching hearts and lives of people using the blessing that He has given me. I can’t express how happy I am to finally look forward to doing what I love to do for a living- I couldn’t ask for more!

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After saying “thank you” to the special people and sending them the first hand news, I finally posted it on Facebook. I don’t use FB anymore not unless there are some friends who are reaching out to me via personal message so I was surprised with all the responses I’ve been getting and they were overflowing. All my other friends are really happy for me too! It is very overwhelming probably because it means the world to me. Call me all dramatic and miss emotional but really, I never felt this before. I never took the board exam in the Philippines and passing this one made everything worth all the wait. I can’t help but become too emotional about this too because really, this is all I ever wanted for a long time and people close to my heart knows that, especially my family. Delivering the good news to the people I love the most can’t get any more amazing than this!

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My mom usually has a lot to say all the time but today, she just had to make it simple that she is so grateful for this blessing. Still not used to seeing/reading my name beside the letters “USRN” but this is something that I would love to get used to in the near future. Thanks to my mom and dad for always being there for me, they always trust my decisions and support me all the time. They are thousands of miles away but I never felt this close to them back when we were still in the same house. I’m so happy to have them and as I said this before, the first thing I want to do in life is to continuously make them proud. Looking forward to seeing them soon! I love them so much

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I am super touched with my brother’s post! Before I took my exam, he told me “It’s your time to shine” and he said it again! LOL This year is indeed a blessed year for my family and I. Kuya Chester passed his PT board exam last August and was blessed to become a PTRP few days after. I posted it here: Chester Bryan Mucha Intia, PTRP (Physical Therapist Registered in the Philippines) I replied to his post: “Shine bright like a diamond” and his response “Brighter ka pa sa diamond” couldn’t get any cheesier! Thank you bro for always being there for me, we finally made it- Now we’re officially “professional” servants of God. Love you and Manvil so much, super miss you both. Thank you two for always believing in me ♥ Can’t wait for you to come here!

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Ate Mona’s IG post aww so sweet, thank you so much!!! Miss you :*

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To the first of my special friends to know about the good news (so basically she tweeted and posted on my wall calling me USRN like three or four hours earlier than I officially posted- what a spoiler!!! Haha) We used to talk for hours and hours everyday so basically she knows what’s going on. It’s amazing how she just felt that I am taking my exam during my MIA period- how psychic, or she just knows me too much? Anyway, thank you for always being there for me partnur! I’m super thankful that I have you like I know how thankful you are to have me LOL But seriously, you know everything already. Love and miss you so much :*

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AND THIS WINNER LATE REACTION FROM MY BESTBUD NIKO!!! Lol I read her messages when I woke up on the next day hahaha this girl never fails to make me laugh everytime we talk. I miss everything about her -of course how couldn’t I, spent my last months in the Philippines seeing her like everyday because of nothing, we just wanted to eat and laugh together. We basically enjoy each other’s company so much and I am looking forward to her arrival here in the US! Her sister lives in the neighbor state, gosh can’t you come here already? LOL

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Of course! My ever so sweet sistah!!! Thank you so much :* I am also looking forward to her arrival here in the US -elder sister and Mama Edna is in TX already! Surely gonna go visit them when she comes! Photo of me that she posted on IG is from our mini photoshoot and she was my photographer. Always missing playing dress-up and having photoshoots with you sistah! Also all our trips and overnights, I will never forget those huhu let’s do that again! Missing you already, love you loaaads! :*

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Photo above is a sweet text from my granma! Love her so much, will never stop making her and lolo proud- Miss them so much ♥ And that Viber message from the QueenB! Always making me laugh too, super miss and love you so much :* There are a lot of messages from my friends but these are not like any other so I had to take screenshots because they deserve a spot not only in my humble blog but of course in my heart, forever!!! *cries*

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November 7, 2013 Official mail has finally arrived!!! Can’t get any more official than this! ♥ Didn’t include my photo on the letter because I look like crap and I wasn’t even looking at the camera- too bad they won’t ask me if I’m satisfied with the photo that they took when I arrived at the testing center LOL If they did, I would probably demand for another take hahaha but then again, thank you Lord for this! You made this happen!

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Clean-up time! This is just 50% of all my resources lol not to mention the NCLEX-RN CDs for thousands of sample questions that I got from different authors, Virginia’s Magical Workbook (yes, I call it that cause it is indeed magical), and all the other books I borrowed from the library. Basically cleared my desk because it’s time to get busy with the next step- Resume Making for job hunting! God’s got me in this, right? Thank you in advance! I love you most, thank you for everything

WEEK 46

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July 15-19, 2013 3rd Annual Bike Camp in Maryland. iCan Shine conducts over 90 bike programs in 32 states and 2 provinces in Canada serving nearly 2,500 individuals with disabilities. The impact of learning to ride a bicycle as their high level of success in helping individuals with disabilities accomplish this milestone continues to drive demand for their programs and fuel their community’s growth.

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My cousin, Michaela, as an incoming senior highschool student of a private institution, has a certain number of hours of volunteering for the community as a requirement for her summer break. She chose to volunteer for this camp and I am so grateful to be able to join her too.

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iCan Bike Camp is a five day program for people with disabilities ages 7 and up. It is understood that the vast majority of people with disabilities never experience the thrill of independently riding a two-wheel bicycle during their lifetime. Research shows that over 80% of people with Autism and 90% of people with Down Syndrome never learn how to ride a bike. Defying these odds is why this camp exist.

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A pair is assigned to a single biker per session, since Michaela and I did three sessions per day (75 mins per session), we were assigned to three bikers for the entire week. (Keith with Down Syndrome, Evan with Autism & Promise with Cerebral Palsy/ Sickle Cell Anemia) I’ve been assigned to the same bikers for the entire week though my partners vary. First day, our bikers were able to ride the bike in the gym with rollers as their training balance. We should be at least an arm length away from them all the time. All my bikers were so active that I had to run with them for a number of laps (with changing directions) in 75 minutes. It’s like running for about 4 hours per day not to mention non-stop talking that goes like “Look straight” “You got it” “Great Job” “Now turn” “Slow down a lil bit” “Keep it up” “You’re amazing” Our bodies were so sore! Second day was the Tandem Bike day where they were able to experience, of course, riding the tandem bike for a few minutes then back on their roller bikes. They change the rollers from less wobbly to more wobbly before transitioning to two-wheel bikes. 

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I got this injury from the second day of camp, it happened when Keith was having his tantrums because he scratched his leg on the bike’s chain and messed up his sock. From that incident on, he started going so fast that he can’t control his turns so I had to catch him before he falls so my leg scratched the edge of the roller and gave me big bruise surrounding a tiny cut. I never noticed it was bleeding til I used the bathroom after the session LOL He’s still my favorite biker though! Third, fourth and fifth day, the bikers started riding the two-wheel bicycles with the handle bar at the back where the volunteers can help them control the bike. This time, we had to go outside and it’s freakin hot. Everything was really worth it seeing them ride their bikes independently, all the volunteers were like proud parents on the inside! :”>

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Fifth day was heartwarming! Biking sessions ended 10 minutes earlier for the Awarding/Recognition of the bikers as well as the volunteers. It feels really amazing to be part of this milestone for individuals with disabilities who were able to learn how to ride a two-wheel bicycle independently. Being able to connect with them from start til the end of this bike camp gave me a heightened feeling knowing that I made an impact in their life, helped them build their confidence in doing things that they never thought they could do and gave them hope that they can accomplish their goals.

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Seeing them smile, hearing our bikers and their parents say “Thank you, we really appreciate it” and “we will miss you” is priceless. This heartfelt experience will always be my inspiration to continue giving a direct positive effect to life. These are few of the things that always remind me that I chose the right profession (NURSING), I will always have this passion about serving other people and this goal to make the world a nicer place to be. Life is such a beautiful thing 

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Nai art of the week btw! Finally got those almond shaped nails ;)

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HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO THE BEST DAD IN THE WORLD!!! Though it hurts as much that I can’t spend this day with you, thinking about the day I can hug you again makes the wait worthwhile. Thank you for always being there for me, I promise you that I will always be your little princess no matter what happens! I would never trade you for anything, I love and miss you sooo much!!! This is for youuu ❤

May 30, 2013

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It’s when real life thoughts sink in. I think making a playlist of my all-time favorite songs from a few years back to present is not the best idea at the moment, not unless I wanted to experience all the drama with the silence after listening to all of them. Well, basically that’s what I did  and it lead me to blogging. Silence has never really been my thing since God knows when. Who does that? During “me” time, I am usually on my earphones either watching movies/series on Netflix or probably listening to music. If you found me all alone and silent when I am not sleeping at all, you should already be taking me to the emergency room or something. Mom and I talked about “silencing” for quite some time now but I never really thought that trying it will give me this kind of feeling. It’s supposed to free my mind of all my worries, doubts and desires but how can I not think of anything when it gives my brain the most vivid chance to absorb everything I’ve never thought of when I am not silent. 

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Silence and darkness only screams the truth and I know that sifting through all of them might drive me insane but who knows how long that can take? I certainly believe that I can make it through all this. You know, thoughts happen, it can be flashbacks or fast forwards usually but to sum it all up, it’s all about what’s gnawing at me, playing with me, making me question everything, those what if’s and worst case scenarios, it makes me doubt everything especially myself sometimes. Believe me, it’s not actually that bad because my future success still reigns above them all (which is a good thing) but just the thought of it scares me too much that’s why I maybe distract myself most of the time. The truth is, I slide around the silence, I cover it up, ignore it and I hide from it. Honestly, I think I am in denial that I may have the longest list of people that I really do miss so much. I even sometimes think of cutting them off from my daily but it won’t do me any good though it might actually help in keeping my emotions stable LOL

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To be honest, I recently stopped thinking about my goal. I gave myself a break, away from reality, away from thinking. I can think of all the disadvantages of keeping my eyes “off” and not on the prize for a little while but it actually gave me realizations that I would never encounter if I didn’t take a break. I can even sleep excessively and don’t care at all. I may be in the phase of my life which is all about uncertainty -an unknown phase where I am still about to figure things out, a phase where I don’t have a consistent routine yet and I can still do anything that I want. I tried a lot of things for the first time just to escape from it but I ended up tired, fatigued and remained shady. I may be out of focus and might need some fixing but maybe I am just trying too hard when maybe these are not necessary at all. Everything seems questionable but one thing is for sure, I have my family who constantly reminds me that I am not alone in this and always brings me to God no matter what happens. I learned that anything that pulls me back right now only prepares me to be launched on to something great, extravagant or even some colossal opportunity that I could ever contain. Nothing can make me move forward if I stop now so I should continue to focus and keep aiming. Giving up is never one of my choices, besides, I am too young to settle anyway.

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I want to thank God for, well, everything. No matter how much I whine and feel frustrated in the thoughts of the moment, He makes silence all about His love for me. It makes me smile and it’s kinda weird (you know, smiling in the dark, alone) Also, it cleanses me. It calms me. It connects everything and everyone in my life. It gives everything not only its meaning but also its perfect sense, I just have to be patient and just trust in Him with everything. I believe that life is not about reaching the destination/goal, it’s about what makes the journey worthwhile. Let us just remember to appreciate how stars can shine so bright only in the darkness. Though I can’t make everyone feel the same way, I hope that all of us would seek and find Him and His truth when silence and darkness fall upon us.

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*Photos are from random sources: These are only few of the daily posts that my mom shares to me via Facebook Messenger. In fact, she never gets any responses from me but she still continuously sends me all these inspirations that encourages me all the time. Never told her (and eventually she’ll know because she reads my blog) that she is indeed my angel on earth. I’m not lucky, I am blessed.

Hi mom, though this is the first time in 20 years I am spending this day without you, this distance only made us closer than ever and I don’t mind talking to you everytime I wake up and right before I sleep, that’s twice a day since I left -hundred times better than our conversations when I was still there, when you even told me I’m making our house only a place to sleep and we don’t see each other that much. I think ChesoManvil and I should celebrate more because we have you and not that you have us, well not really, it’s kind of mutual though haha so we should all celebrate LOL Anyway, yet again another video presentation for Mother’s Day but this time I made it especially for you and it’s a little cheesy though. Song is “The Perfect Fan by Backstreet Boys” -Not to mention your wild obsession with my blog haha just kidding! You’re the person who believes in me the most, the one who’s proud of me and supports me in everything I do and I couldn’t be more grateful for that. This is the perfect song to dedicate for you because you always know all the right words to say especially that constant reminder to pull myself together. Wouldn’t be able to survive this far if it weren’t because of you. You’re the biggest part of what I am right now and the first thing I want to do in life is to continuously make you and Papa proud. I hope everyone could realize how lucky they are if they’re able to spend this day with their moms, I can’t wait to hug you already! Just thank you for being you, I love you so much words are not enough!!! ♥